"The present letter is a very long one, simply because I had no leisure to make it shorter." -Blaise Pascal

09 January 2014

Go for the gold

I could be an Olympic Athlete.


I'm SURE of it.

The only problem is that they don't have the right events at present.

I may not be excellent (or even mediocre!) at pole vaulting or slaloms or hurdles or the butterfly stroke. But you know WHAT, haterz? I AM good at some things, and frankly it's pretty rude that no one has offered me a medal for any of these yet.

Loving Cats (bonus points if it's too much)

Star Trek Trivia

Getting the Peel off a Clementine All in One Piece (I seriously have like a 4 year perfect streak on this one)

Making Lattice-topped Pies

Walking Really Slowly on ice so as to not slip (a Winter Olympics event, obv.)

Facebook Stalking Research

Brand/Generic Drug Names

Netflix Marathoning

Curling Hair with a Straightening Iron

Netflix Marathoning WHILE Curling Hair with a Straightening Iron (I'm the queen of multitasking)

Falling Asleep Inconspicuously on Campus



So there we have it. I am clearly a natural athlete at things that do not require athleticism. While you're grabbing my multiple gold medals, IOC, please go ahead and bring Matt Smith as well. After all he DID help relay the Olympic Torch into London for the 2012 games. I don't think it's really too much to ask. Thanks!

What about you all? Are there talents and abilities you have that you're being DISCRIMINATED against because you're not able to compete for medals at an international level??



 

Long-Winded Explanatory Memorandums Copyright © 2011 -- Template created by O Pregador -- Powered by Blogger